Shortly after the boys turned 1 month old, we decided to move to Arizona. I've figured out that if I don't write down the details, I panic that life is just passing me by. That my boys are growing up too fast. This post is a little late, but if there's ever a reason to be a little forgiving toward yourself, having a baby or two is one of the best I know.
Here are some highlights (mostly taken from my journal):
- Nicknames stick with these guys. I'm normally not a nickname person, but Nash is "my little garden gnome, Nash man, Honey Bun, Sweet Boy, Angel Babe & The Nashinator." Gray is "my little Lorax, gummy bear, Gray baby, lumpkin, smokey the bear, & chunkamonk." Both boys are also "lover." Though Cam has expressed some concern to that one.
- One night I woke the boys up for their late feeding, fed them, burped them, put them back to sleep. I didn't wake up Cameron because he had work the next morning. When I cuddled up to his back, he said "Hey Gray! Hey Bud!" It totally creeped me out. And I headed back to my side of the bed. lol.
- Also, I fed the boys one night around 3. Feedings generally take an hour, so I was back asleep by 4. Around 5:30, Cam sat straight up in bed and shouted "Do you need me to change one? Burp one?" and I said "Shhh! No." lol. He really is super helpful when I need him. I'm sure it was one of those things where you close your eyes for what feels like a second and a couple hours have gone by.
- We went on our first "date" if you can call it that. We left the boys with their Aunt Jess and went out to dinner. We ate SO fast and bolted back to the house. It was really weird to be out without the boys. It was like no one knew that we had two beautiful kiddos waiting for us at home. I absolutely love coming home to them though. They're still here! They're still ours!
- We watched Titanic (edited version) with my siblings to commemorate the 100th anniversary of it sinking. I'm surprised at how my thoughts have changed. I see a tragedy like that now and my thoughts are immediately "what if that was my baby? what would I do? How would I keep them warm?" It was heartbreaking. It made me just want to hold on tight to all 3 of my boys. So I did. I took a little time to rock Gray to sleep and take in his details and tell him all about this beautiful world we live in. Nash slept like a rock that night, but the next morning I made a point to spend some one-on-one lovin' with him.
- Written during a 3am feeding: "Every time I change Nash's diaper "Danger Zone" starts playing in my head."
- Cameron held Nash up next to me and announced that he has my eyes. It thrills me.
- My definition of a productive day has drastically changed. Naps and pajamas until 4:30pm. Dinner at the park. Sonic slushies and bedtime. Sounds good to me.
- Nash makes this sound all the time that sounds like a little chortle. Hilarious.
- Both boys will straighten their legs for me when I'm putting their diapers back on. Smart little buggers.
- Nash lost his voice. I had a sore throat. I have never felt so helpless. He's never sounded so pathetic. Poor guy. This happened right when we started packing up. Too much going on for these babes.
- We took our first family pictures. As a family of four. I am so excited to see them! Every now and again I am hit by yet another bit of my dream life that used to seem so far away. And now I'm smack in the middle of it. I love it.
- Nash peed over his head. Didn't get a drop on himself. When I picked him up, there was a huge wet spot on the floor underneath his back too. Not sure how that is possible. Talented kid.
- Whenever I hold the boys so they're looking over my shoulder, they will grab fist fulls of my hair and hold on. I love that.
- It finally hit me that Cameron and I created these sweet boys. How incredible is that?
- Wayne calls Nash and Gray his little energizer batteries. It is so good to see them bring him so much joy. Makes all the stress of moving down here worth it.
- The morning the boys turned 2 months old, I was talking to Nash and I said "I can't believe you're 2 months old already! That's just crazy!" I said "crazy " in a really high-pitched voice and Nash just grinned and grinned. He's smiling on purpose! Gray hasn't yet, but he's focusing on faces now so I'm sure we're only a couple days away.
- We took the boys for their first swim.
- I lost my milk supply from the stress of the move. And now I've got it about 90% back. But that week where it suffered was terrible. It deserves its own post. I'm so grateful for a mom who had time to talk to me and was inspired enough to tell me to call the NICU. And I'm grateful for a really smart nurse there who didn't make me feel bad about anything and made me feel like getting it back was inevitable.
- Gray is a scoocher. I will lay him and Nash down next to each other to play (and stare at the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan is a favorite.) and within ten minutes, Gray is facing a completely different angle. We also love tummy time. Though Gray generally sucks his thumb and falls asleep. Nash will just sit there and throw glances my direction while showing off his muscles. The kid is a flirt.
The boys are the sweetest thing in my life. All 3 of them. It's been an adjustment figuring out a good balance down here in Arizona. But I really think we've got a good thing going. And when I sit back and think about it, life couldn't be any better. The three most handsome men in the world are all mine. I can do anything if they're with me.