I have begun to know the feeling of terror that comes along with being a parent as well. The numbing thought of something ever happening any one of my boys (Cameron included.) And while that feeling scares me, it is also full of wonder, because it is incredible to feel that intensely. That is love. These 3 men in my life each have my entire heart. Before I met Cameron, I used to be so frustrated at feeling "numb" a good portion of the time. He taught me how to feel. And Nash and Gray have intensified that ability a hundred fold.
Nash and Granger, you are so completely and utterly loved. And you bring a light to this world that I have never known before meeting you. I am in awe.
This is the slide. It is on the school playground two blocks from our house. Unfortunately, we can't go to this slide during the day because the students that attend the school have recess on it. But on weekends or when dad is home or during the blissful week that is spring break, these slides are free game. It is a tall, but not too steep slide. And it is bumpy without being curvy. The wood chips at the bottom are just tall enough for the boys to be able to slide off the end and land on their feet to crawl back to the steps on their own. And it has a slide for each boy. Most of the time, we have to settle for other slides that are not quite so perfect, but oh it is a treat when this one is open.
They are both brave enough to go down on their own. Tummies or bums. Gray has figured out that to go faster, you lean forward. This has resulted in quite a few crashes, but he always jumps up and wants to go again. Nash grabs the side and flips onto his belly. It is so fun to see them play.
Dad also gave the boys some spinach to try. They loved it! It is so funny to me that they like salad. I just feel like they're too young for that. Cameron is so good at helping them eat healthy and trying new foods. It is fun to watch.
I don't remember where we were coming back from when this picture was taken, but oh I cherish the times Nash falls asleep on my shoulder. It is a rare, rare treat.
There was once a period of time where the boys didn't really bother each other. They would give each other toys. Play together. Climb over each other without freaking out, etc. And then this day happened. "I don't want you to sit on me!" "Well, I don't want to sit on you!" It cracked me up. They were so sensitive! Everything ticked them off. Nice to know we all have good days and bad days.
Thursday is my main cleaning day. I have found that this works so much better for me than to try to do a little each day. I just don't plan anything for Thursdays and I vacuum, mop, clean the bathrooms, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, etc. This means the boys get to help with whatever I'm doing while they're awake. On this particular Thursday it was mopping. They are so cute when they want to help with chores! I hope they enjoy chores for a while. And I hope I can help them learn that feeling of fulfillment that comes with a job well done.
Nash discovered the dryer. More importantly, he discovered the sound the dryer makes when he bangs on it. Dryer drumming became a fast favorite.
I love this picture of Cameron watching over Nash on the stairs. He makes them look so little to me. I need that sometimes. They are big boys. Everyone constantly tells me how big they are. I know they are big. They will only get bigger. It is good for my heart to be reminded just how little they are.We have put the high chair trays behind the washing machine and everyone sits at the table together now. We had a great family dinner for our first time of trying that out. The boys loved it and ate a ton. We had garlic chicken farfalle and salad. We learned quickly just how far the boys can reach across the table, but oh this made me happy. I have dreamed of family dinners since I was a little girl.
I ran out of milk for the boys one night. I woke up with Cam at 5am and drove to FIVE different places to try to find a gallon. All closed. Walmart, two gas stations, Kroger, Walgreens. Came home because Cam needed to get to school. His carpool picked him up about a minute after I got home. I was angry that I hadn't been able to find milk for my boys. Sad they would be hungry when they woke up. Annoyed we would have to load up and hit the grocery store before breakfast. Especially on my big cleaning day. And having a major pity party for myself. Cam came back and dropped off this beautiful gallon of milk. He had an exam in an hour and had to battle traffic the whole way to school. Tears of gratitude.
"Play yard up today because there's a freaking roach that I just killed in the hallway. Blech blech blech. It was huge. Managed to spray it until it stopped moving. Screaming at it to die the whole time. Begging it, really. It's blocking my way to the kitchen. It's lunch time. Wish me luck."
I am so happy this entry is finally complete! It puts my heart at ease to save the details some way. I couldn't be happier. Yes, we have hard days. Yes, we get stressed, mad, angry, etc. But YES we are so in love with this life we've got. And Yes, we still go in every night to kiss their cheeks before heading to bed ourselves. And Yes, we are the luckiest.