Dear Granger

Oh how I love you, my little Gray boy. From the top of your rock star hair, down to your squishy toes. Those toes. I love them. Your pinky toes curl under like mine do. It's the only physical trait I can claim on you. The rest of you is 100% like your daddy. That was the very first thing I thought when I first saw you in the bright lights of that hospital room. He is so proud of that. I love it too.

You have taught me the meaning of joy in this short year we've spent together. No matter what, you are smiling, giggling, squealing, playing. You are a social bug. I love how you always look for eye contact before pulling a funny face or letting out a belly laugh. You are joy. You embody that trait. I have never known anyone do happy to just be. I could watch you for hours, days, years. I love that I get to do just that, for the rest of my life.

I'm so in awe of your content nature. You have a calming influence on me that is almost tangible. One of my favorite things is that you will just sit with me, next to me, near me. I love sitting with my arm around you on the couch. You fit perfectly against my side. I love laying down next to you when you're drinking your bottle. You crane your neck to see me and grin so wide the milk dribbles down your cheek.

You make me feel so completely loved. I love that you sing, and that you love to hear me sing. You love to learn and be taught. I think that shows your natural humility. I hope you hold on to that. I have been so grateful for your contentedness this past year. I love to see you grow up and learn new things, but it is also hard to know that I can never have this beautiful time back with you. Your contentment with life kept you little for longer. You, sweet boy, have done more for my heart than I know how to express.

Thank you for resting your head on my shoulder when I carry you somewhere, even when I know you're wide awake. I love being close to you, too.

Someday, your world is going to be bigger than me and your dad and your brother. It might get scary or confusing sometimes. I will always be here for you. I know you will bring joy to so many around you. You are blessed with so many talents and gifts. I'm so proud to be your mom.

I love you.

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